Boston Legal takes on the Supreme Court
April 23, 2008
Last night on ABC’s “Boston Legal,” an attorney at the fictitious firm of Crane, Poole & Schmidt argued a death penalty case before the U.S. Supreme Court. Material for the episode was likely derived from the actual case of Patrick Kennedy, a black man from Louisiana sentenced to death for the rape of his then 8-year-old stepdaughter. The real Supreme Court heard Kennedy’s appeal last week.
Beyond that, though, this was hardly a case of art imitating life. The laughs are few and far between in the 73-page transcript (PDF) of the Kennedy proceedings (though R. Ted Cruz, solicitor general for the amicus state of Texas, has a good line about Saxon law and William the Conqueror’s “kinder, gentler” version on page 52.)
Things were much livelier on the show, where Alan Shore, known for his persuasive closing arguments and inappropriate courtroom comments, took the opportunity to lambaste several justices individually and the court as a whole. Here are a few choice tidbits, as well as a clip on YouTube:
- “You all testified under oath that you never actually considered how you would rule on abortion. You must be kidding! Never gave it a thought! No perjury there?”
- “Justice Scalia, you went duck-hunting with Vice-President Cheney while he was a named defendant in a case before this court. Congratulations on not getting shot by the way.”
My favorite part was when Shore’s speech prompted a response from Justice Clarence Thomas, who sits silently during most arguments.
Notwithstanding the fact that the court would never let this happen (nor would any attorney I know ever speak like this to the Supreme Court of the United States), what do you think about Shore’s argument, or his comic-insult advocacy?
CHRISTINA DORAN, Assistant Legal Editor
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Yes, like much of what goes on in the courts of Boston Legal, Alan Shore’s argument it is stunningly unbelieveable, but …
I wish I had written it.
There are plenty of attorneys, including myself, who would speak to the Supreme Court this way. I for one lost all respect for this institution after Bush v. Gore. Never again will I believe that this court actually stands for anything more than an extension of a political agenda.
For way too long attorneys have given other attorneys who wear a black dress (judges) way too much respect. As someone who works in the Public Defender’s Office I’m sick of these good ole boys who get into office based upon who their daddy was or who they’re friends with at a particular moment. The black robe disease is not just a euphemism, at this point I would make the argument that is a full blown mental disorder which should probably be included in the new addition of the DSM.
So knowing that I would probably never have the opportunity to get in front of the Supreme Court to let them have it, ala Alan Shore, it was very enjoyable knowing that at least someone out there, David Kelley, thinks like me. I would gladly give up my bar card and risk a contempt citation to make the case that was made on Boston Legal.
I once was in a dead dog loser case that was forced into trial due to a minimum mandatory law, so at close I did take the opportunity to skewer the system, the courts and the politicians. Thank goodness I was friendly with the prosecutor and he knew he had a slam dunk case and decided to let me say my peace without objection. It was cathardic and I felt great afterward. What I said was the truth and perhaps someday I’ll have my chance at the SCOTUS to give those empty black robes a nice dressing down.
Just for the record, the man who raped the child in the show would get the death penalty. If somebody can understand that they are going to die then under the current trend, the are eligable for the death penalty.
AL GORE brought it into the courts. You lost…..this is not the third grade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boston Legal is a breath of fresh air. It is too bad our media does not write about the law breaking, and shreading of our Constitution like Alan Shore does. This truly is great TV
This episode was the best hour ever seen on TV. From a huge sports fan this means a lot. I am preparing a complete sales motivation speach based on this episode.
I tried something like this a few years ago in a written brief before the Calif. Court of Appeal, though toned down quite a bit. A little bit about how the court was out of touch with what was really happening. It is something you might write, but never say face to face. Ran it by my father first. He told me to forget it and he was right. You can’t change the minds of close minded people. You just aggrevate them. Sometimes you just go through the motions in making legal arguments, knowing the outcome beforehand based on who is handling your case. The expressions on the judges’ faces are exactly what I face when I am arguing a case before a close minded court. They just sit without any engagement and stoned faced, and you know it is hopeless. The program touched on what most Americans don’t understand. That the most important thing about a President (or a governor in some states) is the power of judicial appointment.